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Writing Samples
Band 7

Political dynasty is a form of political strategy, especially in developing countries. What problems does political dynasty cause, and what solutions can you suggest for governments and businesses to take?

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In underdeveloped countries, family politics is used as a tactic to maintain
power
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 within the family circle for a longer period of time. The biggest problems of
this
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 phenomenon are the abuse of
power
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 and corruptive practices and concrete
laws
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 and using
people
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’s
power
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 are the viable solutions. The foremost problem of
this
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 practice is the abuse of
power
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. When
people
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 in
power
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 are from the same family, they are more likely to work in the favor of their family,
instead
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 of working towards the benefit of the
country
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.
In addition
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, they keep all ministries
such
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 as finance, justice, and defence under them.
This
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 enables them to have dictatorship governance in the
country
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. The second problem is corruptive practices. The
people
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 in
power
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 do illegal business
such
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 as smuggling drugs and selling a
country
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's resources to another
country
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 for personal benefit. A good example is what happened in Sri Lanka two years ago. Family politics made Sri Lanka bankrupt
due to
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 its corrupt activities. The possible solutions for
this
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 problem are imposing stricter
laws
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 and ensuring the government is made up of
people
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 with diverse backgrounds. The government should implement
laws
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 to punish
people
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 who violate the rules and who are involved in malpractices for their own benefit. The other solution is that the businesses collaborate with non-profit organizations and the general public to force the dictator to make the government with
people
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 with diverse backgrounds and skills.
For example
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,
people
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 got
together with
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 the support of businesses and non-government agencies and brought family governance to an end in Sri Lanka. In conclusion, the problems of political dynasties
such
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 as
power
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 misuse and corruption can be overcome by having the right
laws
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 implemented and raising the voice against the dictatorship.

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task achievement
Ensure each idea is well-developed with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly present and reasonably well-constructed.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the task by identifying the problems and suggesting solutions.
task achievement
Relevant examples, like the case of Sri Lanka, are used to illustrate points, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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