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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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The pervasive use of smartphones by the younger generation has sparked debates over its benefits and drawbacks.
While
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 I concur that
children
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 should indeed be acquainted with technology, I firmly believe that excessive reliance on it can erode their individuality. Primarily, the prolonged use of smartphones significantly impacts
children
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's health. Numerous studies have highlighted the detrimental effects of excessive smartphone usage on both mental and physical well-being. A recent WHO report elucidated the deleterious impact of digital technology on
children
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's vision, revealing that over 2 hours of daily screen time can result in a 15% decline in visual acuity.
Additionally
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, the same report documented instances of mental and developmental challenges among
children
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 exposed to smartphones before the age of 5. Given these alarming findings, it is imperative to question the ubiquity of technology during formative years.
Furthermore
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, the diminishing social interaction among
children
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 is a cause for concern.
The critical
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Critical
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 socialization skills,
such
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 as collaborative play within communities, are becoming increasingly rare. The early years are crucial for developing fundamental communication skills, fostering active group activities, and comprehending gender nuances.
While
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 technological familiarity is indispensable in the modern world, the adverse consequences of excessive usage cannot be disregarded. In conclusion, despite the rapid technological advancement shaping our world, it is imperative to curtail its dominance in
children
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's lives to nurture a generation
that is
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 both technologically adept and emotionally balanced. Striking
this
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 equilibrium is essential for cultivating a healthy and well-rounded cohort of individuals.
Submitted by mamik199316 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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