IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
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The table illustrates information about how the UK's jobless individuals used
time
Use synonyms
 in the previous year.
Overall
Linking Words
, a large number of morning men used to operate their
time
Use synonyms
 job hunting and shopping;
however
Linking Words
, the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 ones spent more
time
Use synonyms
 gardening and watching TV.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the rates of morning
women
Use synonyms
 spending
time
Use synonyms
 on housework and shopping in the UK were higher than in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the table, the proportion of morning who spent
time
Use synonyms
 shopping and job hunting was around 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. In marked contrast, the number of these in drinking and nothing/sitting around were 2% and 3% respectively. In the same gender, the rates in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 individuals were highest at gardening and watching TV with 13 and 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other gender, both morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
 spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
 on housework
at
Change preposition
apply
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49
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of morning
women
Use synonyms
 and 21
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
afternoon
Use synonyms
 ones.
In addition
Linking Words
, shopping was the second rate for both types of
women
Use synonyms
 with 26% and 27% which were much
more
Change the word
apply
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higher than the others.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, afternoon, women, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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