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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show household spending patterns in two countries between 1980 and 2008

The charts below show household spending patterns in two countries between 1980 and 2008
#show #household #patterns #two #countries
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The pie charts compare the percentages of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on several fire household patterns in two countries from 1980 to 2008.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest
percentage
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 of
money
Use synonyms
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on Leisure and
Utility
Use synonyms
bills
Use synonyms
 in the Uk all over the period. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear that the proportion of
money
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 spent on food and drinks and
utility
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bills
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 in New Zealand
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 highest in the same period. In terms of the UK, between 1980 and 2008, the
percentage
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 of
money
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expenditure
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 on Leisure increased from 27% to 34%,
likewise
Linking Words
 there was an increase of 21% in the
percentage
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 of
money
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 spent on
Utility
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bills
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 increased from 261
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 to 28%, from 1980 to 2008. In 1980,
expenditure
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 on other things was 9%, which figure increased to 17% in 2008.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a decrease of 10% and 1% in the
percentage
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 of
money
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expenditure
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 on Food and drink and Transport from 23% and 15% to 13% and 14% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the people of New
Zealand
Change noun form
Zealand's
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expenditure
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 on
Utility
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bills
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 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 increased from 27% and 9% to 34% and 14% in 1980 and 2008 respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on Food and drink, Transportation and Leisure decreased from 29%, 17%,
18
Correct word choice
and 18
show examples
% to 25%,16%, and 17% in New Zealand from 1980 to 2008
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Submitted by PONKAJ DEY on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, percentage, money, utility, bills with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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