In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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Nowadays, it is a common belief that buying an accommodation is more crucial than renting one. From my perspective,
this
is a negative circumstance that can lead to severe consequences in the future.
Initially
, it is undoubtedly seen that renting lodging has lower upfront costs since citizens only have to pay a small rental fee each month.
Additionally
, it is undeniable that renting a home will support the dwellers, especially young people and low-income workers to save a huge amount of money in maintenance costs and property taxes. Take Australia as a good example, international students in Australia tend to rent a house
due to
numerous reasons that I have mentioned above. Another point to discuss is that renting a home will have more flexibility than obtaining one. One reason behind
this
is that residents are able to move to another place conveniently depending on their business without facing many difficulties when owning real estate. Another factor to consider is the potential for foreclosure as occupants who own a home tend to get a bank loan to buy it.
Therefore
, they must keep up with mortgage payments, if they lose their job, they will be unable to maintain
this
business.
Consequently
, they will be at risk of foreclosure and it will result in the loss of their house and damage to their credit score. In conclusion, I would say that renting accommodation will be more beneficial and have fewer risks than owning it regarding flexibility, lower repair and upfront costs, and no asset taxes.
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task achievement
While you established a clear position throughout the essay, the reasoning was sometimes simplistic and you did not fully explore the implications of the points made.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were present but could have been more thorough to better establish and summarize the main arguments of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points were supported, but the support provided was at times unconvincing or not fully developed. Aim to provide deeper analysis and more compelling evidence to strengthen your arguments.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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