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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities create housing for their growing population by providing taller building. Other cities create housing by building on wider areas of land. Which solution is better?

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The importance of accommodation has now become more debatable with many people
claimng
Correct your spelling
claiming
claim
 that cities need to construct more skyscrapers to deal with population expansion
while
Linking Words
 others believe there should be housing construction on spacious land. The upcoming paragraphs will shed light on my arguments related to
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of both these conceptions,
as well as
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 lead to some conclusions. The first and foremost evidence to prove the former notion is beneficial is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the usefulness of space.
In other words
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, designers can make the most of a certain room for housing. With about 800 square
metre
Change to a plural noun
metres
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, Landmark 3 of Vinhomes can be up to 50 storeys high with 13 apartments per floor,
for example
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.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
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 saving
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of space, communities living in these apartment buildings can enjoy a range of other advanced facilities
such
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 as
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
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,
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 or parking.
On the other hand
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, there can be some unsafe risks
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 fire or explosion.
In addition
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, these skyscrapers
mostly
Add a missing verb
are mostly
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 built in hustle and bustle cities
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 noisy and busy,
thus
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 residents there can be dissatisfied with that hectic lifestyle. Regard to accommodations built on land, dwellers there definitely have far more open room to do daily activities and take a rest.
Moreover
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, not only traffic is more convenient but the environment there is
also
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 fresher and more comfortable.
However
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, it is obvious that it will take enormous space
as well as
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 a large amount of investment, which can lead to some other problems
such
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 as difficulty in urban planning. In conclusion, either living in skyscrapers or building housing on wider land has benefits and demerits.
Therefore
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, it is necessary for governments and residents to consider carefully before
come
Change the verb form
coming
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 up with a reasonable plan suited
the
Change preposition
to the
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 conditions and needs of that area.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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