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Band 7.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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İn modern times, despite
developing
Correct article usage
the developing
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 healthcare system, a larger number of
people
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 are trying to search and probe different medicines
instead
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 of visiting professionals
such
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 as physiologists and doctors. Personally, I AM OF THE OPINION THAT IT HAS BOTH POSITIVE AND NOXIOUS SIDES.
TO BEGIN
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, IN MY VIEW, INHABITANTS WHO ARE LIVING IN RURAL AREAS ARE EAGER TO CHECK ALTERNATIVE MEDICAL APPROACHINGS, BECAUSE OF SOME REASONS.
FOR INSTANCE
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, ONE OF THE MOST PREVALENT REASONS IS TO SAVE
TIME
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 AND MONEY. NOWADAYS, EVERYONE HAS TO WAIT IN A QUEUE.
ADDITIONALLY
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, PAYMENTS AND FEES ARE VERY EXPENSIVE FOR A CONSULTATION WITH DOCTORS.
FURTHERMORE
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, SOME
PEOPLE
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, ESPECIALLY THE OLDER GENERATION HAS A TENDENCY TO CURE THEMSELVES THROUGH THESE WAYS, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT BELIEVE THE MODERN TECHNOLOGY AND ITS BENEFITS.
MOREOVER
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, IN 21TH CENTURY,
PRICES
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THE PRICES
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 OF MEDICINES ARE COSTLY AND THERE ARE NOT ADEQUATE CHEMISTS IN SOMEWHERE.
THAT IS
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 WHY, A GREATER PART OF THE POPULATION CONSIDER THAT ALTERNATIVE MEDICAL WAYS ARE AFFORDABLE.
ON THE OTHER HAND
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, IT HAS SOME CRITICAL DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS ON
PEOPLE
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 LIVES. MOST OF THE
TIME
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, OLD MEDICAL APPROACHINGS ARE ABLE TO BE HARMFUL AND THEREBY MORE SERIOUS DISEASES EMERGE. AS AN EXAMPLE, ONE
TIME
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 I CAUGHT A COLD AND
THEREFORE
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 HAD A SORE THROAT. MY GRANDMOTHER PREPARED A MIXTURE FOR ME SO AS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, BUT ONE DAY LATER I SUFFERED FROM HARSHER PAIN AND HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Since that day, I have not believed
to
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in
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 these types of prescriptions.
Also
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, today, there are abundant
people
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 who are dying for receiving pills or painkillers without reading their prescriptions and instructions or not visiting professionals on
time
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. In conclusion,
according to
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 my opinion, I consider that trying alternative medical ways are a big mistake and every sick person should escape from these.
Submitted by ismayilovemin530 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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