IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the amount of money which was invested by different museums in London.

The bar chart shows the amount of money which was invested by different museums in London.
#bar #amount #money #museums #london
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The chart illustrates the amount of investing money in a variety of London
museums
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of investment in London
museums
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 highest in August and September,
speacially
Correct your spelling
especially
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the British
Museum
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, National
Museum
Use synonyms
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lower funding than others , and the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
funding in October
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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peak
Fix the agreement mistake
peaks
show examples
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 bottom either
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5 months. As can be seen from the bar graph, the amount of funding by
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 in August is the highest among 4 London
museums
Use synonyms
 with 700
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the same period, History
Museums
Use synonyms
 gain the second funding with 600
thousand
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 British
Museum
Use synonyms
 in September has
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 investment
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
approximate
Change the word
approximately
show examples
 the second one at under 600
thousand
Use synonyms
. In both June and July, these four
museums
Use synonyms
 are the same as each other, respectively 400, over 400, 200, and around 450
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in October, the funding of Science Music is the lowest among all these figures, and the average investment of 4
museums
Use synonyms
 is the lowest either.
Submitted by lethigialinh77 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words museums, museum, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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