Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?

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In recent years, development in the healthcare sector has been a priority in many countries. Despite the fact,
hospitals
Correct word choice
that hospitals
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are packed with patients having different
health
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troubles. Least physical activities and
bad
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a bad
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diet are a few main reasons for
this
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trouble,
however
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,
this
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can be controlled by promoting a healthy lifestyle among the masses.
Firstly
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, the growth in technology has brought ease in life causing zero to no activity left for humans to do by themselves. Being surrounded by gadgets all the time has made people dependent on them. Like, outdoor games are getting unpopular among young kids as they prefer video games and PlayStations,
as a result
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, children fail to develop their muscle strength and fall prey to diseases.
Secondly
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, the fast
food
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chains that are very famous all around the globe are one of the main reasons for people getting obese. A recent survey, that was conducted in the USA, showed that about 75% of the population is suffering from obesity.
Hence
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,
this
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tech world and inorganic
food
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is
Change the verb form
are
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deteriorating
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overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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health
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of the human race. In spite of all
this
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, there is still a way out, only if some rigorous steps are taken place and
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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implemented. First of all, higher authorities need to rebuild the parks and playgrounds, in order to attract peers. Educate parents and engage children in physical activities in schools or at home. All the junk
food
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needs to be reduced, it needs not to be easily accessible and other alternative organic
food
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choices must be promoted, to influence and spread the word.
For instance
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, countries should learn from South Korea, where no international fast-
food
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chain restaurants are allowed to open more than 1 franchise in a city.
This
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ultimately does help in protecting the upcoming generation from disturbing their internal
health
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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with great improvement in
health
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departments, many developed countries are still facing
health
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issues enormously. People today invest money in devices and make bad picks in
food
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which impacts their
health
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badly.
This
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can be avoided with collective help from the Government and education on the side effects of these choices.
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task response
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with relevant details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more effectively to improve coherence, use transition words and phrases to link different parts of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of physical health
  • developed countries
  • falling
  • lifestyle changes
  • unhealthy habits
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • lack of physical activity
  • fast food
  • unhealthy diets
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • environmental factors
  • lack of education
  • awareness
  • government policies
  • regulations
  • promotion of healthy habits
  • awareness campaigns
  • stricter regulations
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • physical activity
  • exercise programs
  • balanced diet
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