IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#community #act #countries #consumption #fuels #oil #gas
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These days, there has been an increase in the number of people who pay attention to the issue of fossil
fuels
 overuse and the pollution brought by the combustion of them. It is said that some international organizations should do something to decrease the usage of fossil
fuels
. Personally, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of
this
 idea and reasons will be provided in
this
 essay. It is undeniable that
,
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apply
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 reducing fossil
energy
 is an international event, so the reduction of fossil
energy
 is of great significance to the global environment and sustainable development. Global climate change, environmental pollution, and
energy
 security are common challenges faced by the world. The use of fossil
energy
 has led to global environmental problems
such
 as global warming, rising sea levels, and intensified extreme weather events. All
countries
 are affected by these issues, whether they are developed
countries
 or developing
countries
.
Therefore
, reducing fossil
energy
 is an international issue that requires global cooperation. Based on
this
,
this
 initiative requires
countries
 to fairly share responsibilities. Different
countries
 have different contributions to fossil
energy
 based on their historical development stages and economic capabilities. Some developed
countries
 have emitted a large amount of greenhouse gases in the past,
while
 some developing
countries
 have generated significant emissions
while
 pursuing economic development. In order to fairly share the responsibility of reducing fossil
energy
,
countries
 need to participate and take action together.
Additionally
, reducing fossil fuel consumption is crucial for mitigating these environmental disasters and ensuring the survival and well-being of future generations. Fossil
fuels
, being finite resources, are on a trajectory toward eventual depletion if consumption continues at the present pace, potentially leading to an
energy
 crisis for all human beings in the not-so-distant future. In conclusion, I advocate the fact that some international communities should recommend that governments set up some laws to restrict the use of fossil
fuels
, and I believe that
this
 action will ensure a sustainable and healthy planet for all of us.
Submitted by 2575444164 on

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task achievement
While your essay provides clear arguments and explanations, incorporating more specific examples could bolster your position. For instance, citing specific international efforts or agreements, such as the Paris Agreement, would provide concrete evidence supporting your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your arguments. For example, the second paragraph could begin with a sentence explicitly stating its main point about the global significance of reducing fossil fuel consumption.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your arguments. This structure contributes to a well-organized and logical presentation.
task achievement
You provide comprehensive ideas and clearly articulate the reasons for supporting international actions to reduce fossil fuel consumption. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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