Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Engaging in irregular occupations
studying remains a contentious issue. Some argue that gaining hands-on work experience before securing regular employment positively influences pivotal post-graduation decisions.
, others believe these activities divert valuable
should dedicate to their academic tasks. Despite the various pros and cons, the initiative to undertake work before fully entering society can bring significant benefits to learners in multiple aspects. Primarily,
develop the ability to manage their
effectively by organizing busy schedules and distributing tasks efficiently. The challenge lies in the fixed hours available each day, requiring them to balance academic commitments and work responsibilities throughout the semester. Along
acquire tips and personalized strategies for optimizing their limited
For example
, observing YouTubers showcasing their productive lives reveals a common practice of starting the day by creating well-structured to-do lists, offering positive inspiration to their audience.
, on the brink of entering the real world, gain the opportunity to plan their finances for the future by investing and saving their income wisely.
, they could explore investment options
as stocks or mutual funds, aiming to grow their financial portfolio over
. Another example might involve a student strategically budgeting their earnings to cover educational expenses, reducing the need for extensive student loans and ensuring a more stable financial foundation upon graduation. In conclusion, participating in temporary employment
at university can be a constructive activity to prepare for the impending future.
hands-on experience should be encouraged for
, allowing them to gain valuable insights and skills in advance.
Submitted by uzookim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay requires a more clear and explicit statement of your position. Ensure the introduction and conclusion clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Despite reasonable clarity in presenting the main points, there was a lack of clear transitions and cohesive devices to guide the reader through the argument smoothly. Make use of cohesive phrases and clear topic sentences to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Response
The examples provided were somewhat relevant, yet lacked sufficient specificity and development. Aim to include concrete and detailed examples to support your points more robustly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion: you agree or disagree? you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • time management
  • practical experience
  • competitive edge
  • responsibility
  • financial independence
  • budgeting
  • academic performance
  • relevance
  • professional network
  • burnout
  • balance
  • accountability
  • maturity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: