IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the provided bar chart illustrates how many people drank coffee and bought tea as well as their drinking habits in five Australian towns.

the provided bar chart illustrates how many people drank coffee and bought tea as well as their drinking habits in five Australian towns.
#bar #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #towns
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the provided bar chart illustrates how many
people
Use synonyms
 drank
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bought tea
as well as
Linking Words
 their drinking habits in five Australian towns.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph
that is
Linking Words
 individuals who enjoy drinking hot drinks in cafes headed the list.
while
Linking Words
 those who like having their
coffee
Use synonyms
 fresh, the bottom of the list.
in addition
Linking Words
, individuals who bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 were approximately similar. looking into the shown details, In the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks, the
people
Use synonyms
 who went to
coffee
Use synonyms
 spots to drink it began at 60% in Sydney. after that, They increased slightly around 4% in Melbourne to reach their peak.
then
Linking Words
, they decreased gradually to around one of ten in Brisbane. after that, the figure experienced a sharp increase in Hobart around 59%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who bought fresh hot drinks saw a steady decline In Sydney andMeltorn by 44% and 42% respectively.
while
Linking Words
 they reached their lowest point in Bagjdhu and accounted for 33%
as well as
Linking Words
 the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 in huffy and jkfoie was similar.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, those who bought instant hot drinks began with 2% person more than those who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.
besides
Linking Words
, the figure witnessed a gradual increase of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the 5 cities to reach eventually in Horbat 66%.
Submitted by aliaelarabi5 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, in addition, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provided" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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