The pie chart below shows the main reason why agriculutural land become less productive. The table shows how these causes effected three regions of the world during the 1900s

The pie chart below shows the main reason why agriculutural land become less productive. The table shows how these causes effected three regions of the world during the 1900s
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This
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provided chart illustrates the essential causes that result in a reduction in the production of agricultural
land
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in three different places.
Overall
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, it can be seen that there were four main factors, which degraded the
land
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in the three provided contents, but the
land
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of
Oceania
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was only affected by two of them.
To begin
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, the highest percentage of
land
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deterioration occurred in Europe, at 23%, which was about four times more than in North America.
In addition
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to that, the accountability of deforestation for
land
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deterioration was, at 30% which made it the second reason. Even though forest demolition was the primary reason for
land
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degradation in Europe, at 9.8%, it was the least factor that harm the
land
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in the other two locations.
Although
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over-grazing accounted for 35% of
land
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degradation, it was considered the
last
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factor in Europe that ruined the
land
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, at 5.5%, and it was the first harmful reason to the Earth in
Oceania
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, at 11.3%.
Furthermore
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, over-cultivation was responsible for 28% of
land
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damage,
hence
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; it was the biggest factor that degraded the
land
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in North America, but it did not have any detrimental effect on the
land
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in
Oceania
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.
Finally
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, the total degraded
land
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in
Oceania
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was 13%
whereas
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it was 5% in North America. And there were some other reasons for
land
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deterioration which represented 7%.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, oceania with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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