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Band 6

Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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The usage of technology has been growing significantly these past years. Now some governments are using it to check what people are doing or what they say on their phones, sometimes even without them knowing that they are being monitored. In my opinion, the benefits of technology outweigh the drawback. On the one hand, many people get stressed by the idea that they are being watched since
as
Correct word choice
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they prefer to keep their life private.
Furthermore
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, recorded data might be hacked and used for crimes or fraud
such
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 as cases in which a hacker uses the saved data to get a credit card number. If the recorded data is not well-protected, it might cause disastrous damage.
On the other hand
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, the main objective of monitoring devices is to protect the public. In the case of crimes, monitoring devices will be of great assistance to the police so they can catch
the
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criminals quickly.
For example
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, new GPS devices that are programmed to specify the location of stolen cars can save a lot of time and harm. The process of monitoring help to decrease the
crimes
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crime
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 rates and promotes justice in society by providing the sheer truth. Even though many people might want their lives to be confidential, many would rather
safety
Add a missing verb
have safety
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to
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than
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 privacy.
To conclude
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, we all tend to keep ourselves and our families secure.
Thus
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, we need to be more flexible with the fact that we are being monitored and appreciate the technological developments that are making our life much easier and safer.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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