Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Whether achievements in life start from hard work and the strength of the will or come from outlook and money is
such
a controversial point.
This
writer believes that it is talent and diligence that success rises from
due to
the ability to solve the problem from the smallest thing rather than just use the money to come up with it. It must be recognized that the industrious one will start from the smallest elements.
This
is because they do not want any unexpected problems to arise throughout the process.
As a consequence
, they will deal with the problem exhaustively, so it can lead them to many triumphs.
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why hard effort is more vital than beauty and economic potential.
However
, some people argue that cash and outlook can break many obstacles.
This
belief is based on the strength of the relationship that economics and beauty are able to form, whether it is derived from themselves or not.
This
may be true, but if anything comes from you without your abilities, it will not be yourselves so it will not steady.
Hence
, economics and appearance are important, but it not always everything
This
writer believes that hard work is the most important element of triumph.
This
is because industrious will lead to many achievements, neither do money and appearance. Because of
this
, each employee should focus on diligence rather than the outlook. In conclusion,
this
essay has shown that the main factor of success is hard performance.
Therefore
industriousness is more favourable than economic potential and appearance.
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task achievement
To improve the score for 'Task Achievement', make sure to address all parts of the prompt more distinctly. Develop your arguments with a wider range of examples and ensure that each section of your essay contributes to a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
For 'Coherence and Cohesion', work on connecting ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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