Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

Whether achievements in life start from hard work and the strength of the will or come from outlook and money is

such

a controversial point.

This

writer believes that it is talent and diligence that success rises from

due to

the ability to solve the problem from the smallest thing rather than just use the money to come up with it. It must be recognized that the industrious one will start from the smallest elements.

This

is because they do not want any unexpected problems to arise throughout the process.

As a consequence

, they will deal with the problem exhaustively, so it can lead them to many triumphs.

Therefore

, it is easy to understand why hard effort is more vital than beauty and economic potential.

However

, some people argue that cash and outlook can break many obstacles.

This

belief is based on the strength of the relationship that economics and beauty are able to form, whether it is derived from themselves or not.

This

may be true, but if anything comes from you without your abilities, it will not be yourselves so it will not steady.

Hence

, economics and appearance are important, but it not always everything

This

writer believes that hard work is the most important element of triumph.

This

is because industrious will lead to many achievements, neither do money and appearance. Because of

this

, each employee should focus on diligence rather than the outlook. In conclusion,

this

essay has shown that the main factor of success is hard performance.

Therefore

industriousness is more favourable than economic potential and appearance.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Mar 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve the score for 'Task Achievement', make sure to address all parts of the prompt more distinctly. Develop your arguments with a wider range of examples and ensure that each section of your essay contributes to a well-rounded discussion.

coherence cohesion

For 'Coherence and Cohesion', work on connecting ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
6. International tourism has led to an huge increase in the number of visitors to many historical sites around the world. To what extent is this a positive or negative phenomenon?
The amount of foreign tourists visiting ancient sites around the world has increased dramatically. This essay agrees that this is a positive phenomenon since it supports the economic development of the country and it provides more awareness in tourists about how to look after historical sites.
5
band
In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly parents have responsibility to both care of and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in in the lives of their fourteen and fifteen year old children.
In most of countries teenagers with age of sixteen and more are awarded some superiority by government which makes them to become more responsible about their actions and watch out their behavior properly. It is obvious that as a duty for parents of under the age of sixteen children, they are destined to guide their children how they need to assume their responsibilities correctly.
5.5
band
School should use films, computers and games intead of books. Do you agree or disagree?
Film , computers and interesting games should be used at schools. Although movies, computers and enjoyable activities might be interesting, I agree that books are great sources of knowledge and information.
5.5
band
Write a letter to your English-speaking friend whom you visited recently. In your letter - Tell him/her how wonderful the experience you had in his country was - Invite him to visit your country - Tell him what you can do for him during his visit.
I hope you are doing splendidly. I'm writing this letter in regard to expressing gratitude for the hospitality which I received during my last visit in Italy. My overall experience was memorable, especially in the luxurious City Milan, and the water city Venice.
8
band
You recently bought an electronic device for your home. Your friend wants to buy the same device and has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter describe the device please explain why you bought it say whether or not your friend should buy it and why.
I hope this letter finds you fit and fine. I've recently received your letter seeking my advice for purchasing a treadmill identical to the one I purchased last month.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

6. International tourism has led to an huge increase in the number of visitors to many historical sites around the world. To what extent is this a positive or negative phenomenon?

School should use films, computers and games intead of books. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your English-speaking friend whom you visited recently. In your letter - Tell him/her how wonderful the experience you had in his country was - Invite him to visit your country - Tell him what you can do for him during his visit.

You recently bought an electronic device for your home. Your friend wants to buy the same device and has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter describe the device please explain why you bought it say whether or not your friend should buy it and why.