Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both arguments and give your opinion

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I totally agree with
this
opinion. Basically, the government should think and try to improve
citizen's
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citizens'
show examples
lives in
financial
Add an article
the financial
a financial
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
first;
for example
, food,
health
system, housing price,
salaries
Correct word choice
and salaries
show examples
.
Then
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
cultural part which makes
people
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
affluent will come
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
next.
To begin
with, the government should have priorities when it comes to spending money for
people
. In contemporary society, Economic activities are
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
to maintain
people
's lives stable. When
people
feel they are fulfilled
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life on
health
, food,
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
,
housing
Correct word choice
and housing
show examples
first,
they will think about the next things
such
as something for enjoying life.
Firstly
, Education is important for
people
. It can give chances to get a better job with
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
slaries
Correct your spelling
salaries
series
.
This
makes
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more
apportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to enjoy life. Even if it is not on economic
issues
,
people
need to learn how to carry and enjoy their lives.
Secondly
, Unhealthy
people
cannot think to do something for themselves.
Health
issues
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
experience frustration
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
work or their routine. To add to that, Education and
Health
issues
are directly related to the economy. That means
this
is the basic
elements
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element
show examples
for
people
to live.
Thus
it is hard to think
arrangement
Add an article
the arrangement
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the national budget
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
those basic
issues
.
Therefore
, when they assign their budget to each
departments
Change to a singular noun
department
show examples
, they have to set a strategic plan putting a priority on
health
systems, education and some of their encouraging industries. And supporting
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
show examples
field is
also
important for
people
, but it is not a mandatory factor for living.
Submitted by amableraye17 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vital part
  • culture and heritage
  • attracting tourists
  • promote diversity
  • foster creativity
  • fundamental needs
  • directly impact
  • economic performance
  • productive workforce
  • widespread benefits
  • solid foundation
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