Some people think certain prisoners should be made to set up unpaid community work, instead of just being put behid the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #behid #bars

The presence of criminals is a considerable concern in the present world. The majority of individuals argue that specific mobs have to contribute their human labour to our society without rewards

as well as

staying in prison. I partly support

this

assertion and discuss the grounds on the issue below. Without a doubt, syndicates are suitable to apply their ability

for maintaining

Change preposition

to maintain

show examples

our nation. Foremost, lots of harsh

work

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

necessary to sustain our city

not to mention

they require an enormous amount of effort. To be more detailed, for the reasons that the frequent hard

work

makes workers avoiding social

work

As a result

, it is possible to replace ordinary employees with prisoners.

In addition

, it allows gangland to realize their faults and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

opportunities to become better people.

Furthermore

, since they spend a huge amount of resources to give their meals, these challenges are affordable for them to pay for their food

instead

of money. On the flip side, there are several reasons why they still stay in jail. Clearly, they tend to try other crimes when they are out of the lock.

Therefore

, if they have a chance to go outside, they will surely run out of control

as well as

make

Verb problem

pose

show examples

another danger to threatening citizens.

Besides

, even if they occupy a small piece of tools to deal with their tasks, criminals are able to create weapons which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

harmful to others.

In addition

, since there

will be

Wrong verb form

show examples

a possibility of occasion that directors

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

punish

criminal's

Change noun form

criminals'

show examples

work

efficiency or productivity, they plan to revenge because they feel uneasy. In a nutshell,

although

there are significant benefits when countries utilize criminal labour, I still contend that these possess negative effects on our society.

Submitted by kigj95 on Fri Aug 11 2023

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task response

Improve task response by addressing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas in a more logical manner and improving the transition between paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rehabilitation
reintegration
reoffending
cost-effectiveness
deterrence
incarceration
restorative justice
public safety
community service
unpaid work
offenders
prison maintenance
structured punishment
meaningful work
reintegration into society

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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to set up unpaid community work, instead of just being put behid the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

: Write about the following topic: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

A company offers a temporary job with no salary, but it helps you to gain some work experience. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, -introduce your previous work experience -tell the manager which department you want to work -describe what expectation you have from the job

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.