Some people think that zoos are cruel, and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Zoos
for some experts are useless places and should be locked down, but for other expert’s
Change noun form
expert
zoos
are the safest place
for the animals
who could be die
if they left behind. I am of two minds, on the one hand keeping Change the verb form
die
animals
in four walls is not fair. and on the other hand
, it must keep some animals
safe.
To begin
with, closing zoos
is something good for animals
. Despite of
, keeping Change preposition
apply
animals
inside shelter
Correct article usage
a shelter
done
by human beings may look fancy, but it hurts Unnecessary verb
apply
animals
by taking their freedom. for instance
, put
a lion or tiger inside a box to let visitors enjoy, Wrong verb form
putting
this
place
will affect the original behavior
of these Change the spelling
behaviour
animals
because they are not in the same environment they used to be. Also
, sometimes they become out of control because people take them away from their hometown. So that zoos
should be locked down to let each animal live in their own place
with their families and stay in its environment.
On the other hand
, keeping zoos
for animals
is important, it helps to let living things stay safe. Earlier
years some Change preposition
In earlier
animals
being
hunted by people, and Wrong verb form
were
this
effect their exitance in
our earth. So, some scientists decide to keep what Change preposition
on
left
of these Add a missing verb
is left
animals
in zoos
to protect them from being killed. In the north pole for example
the north bears become less in count, so scientists took some of them and moved these bears to place
same as their hometown, giving them Wrong verb form
places
same
food Correct article usage
the same
also
Correct word choice
and also
provide
them with Wrong verb form
providing
nearest
environment.
In conclusion, I believe that in some cases to protect Change the article
the nearest
animals
safely we should provide for them shelters. But in general, it is better to let animals
live where they should be and keep our earth clean. Also
it is our responsibility to aware hunters to not kill Add a comma
,Also
animals
in our plant
.Fix the agreement mistake
plants
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite