Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There is an ongoing argument about the importance of varied subjects. Some individuals argue that schools should mainly focus on

History

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However

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, others believe that other curriculums like Tech and

Science

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have the highest priority. I strongly believe all subjects have the same value because the combination of all sciences can hone lives. First of all, it is compulsory that everyone should have information about their past to discover their identity.

For instance

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, I should have knowledge about my country’s

history

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as an Iranian. Because I live in a Persian country which has distinct traditional ceremonies and holidays and eventually if I want to celebrate it like my other fellow citizens, I must know what is the background of all these traditions.

Secondly

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, Knowing about our

history

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helps us to discover our price and status.

Moreover

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, all of us have specific unique histories that make us precious.

In particular

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, as an Iranian, I am proud and valuable because Iran had an extraordinary

history

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and it was one of the biggest empires, which was Hakhamaneshian, in the world which should make every Iranian proud.

On the other hand

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History

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can be a part of our syllabus but not the majority. The world is moving forward and we are going to be the future smart humans. People can not reside with Conventional methods over time.

In addition

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, it is mandatory that people specifically students should study technology and

science

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to enrich our lives.

Furthermore

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, there are many new diseases

such

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as “Coronavirus” that

science

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and innovations can help us defeat them.

For example

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, if we just knew about

history

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and not about

science

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in the period that the coronavirus spread out, we never been able to stave off it. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the information about our

history

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and future can lead us toward advanced life. If we do not know about our past we never will be able to be informed about our identity and value and

also

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, if we do not know about

science

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and technology we can not enhance the quality of our lives.

neginsepahvandSat Sep 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-structured, and you have an introduction and a conclusion, which is excellent. However, some sentences can be a bit clearer. For example, 'Because I live in a Persian country which has distinct traditional ceremonies and holidays and eventually if I want to celebrate it like my other fellow citizens, I must know what is the background of all these traditions.' This sentence can be broken down into two for better clarity.

task achievement

You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which fulfills the task requirement. However, try to elaborate more on some points, such as how science and technology can specifically enhance our lives beyond just defeating diseases.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

You have addressed both views on the topic and provided a balanced discussion.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial
comprehend
retrospect
gain insights
reflect on
sharpen
evaluate
significance
heritage
legacy
advent
breakthroughs
sustain
sustainability
revolutions
empowered
overcome
transform
advancements
collaboration
cooperation
diversity
fulfilling
promote
facilitate
prosperity
enhance
foster
foundation

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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that newspaper are best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that internet is a better source.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.