IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior.

#people #countries #society #immigrants #customs #codes #behavior
In today's circumstances, more
people
 are migrating to other countries than ever before.unforgettable ,some are integrated into sic in their adopted countries others not. In my perspective,
this
 situation has pros outweigh the cons.In the following paragraph,I will explain
this
 trend with adequate examples.
Firstly
, most
people
 are migrating for not only academic purposes but work
also
.
furthermore
 reasons, students should learn other languages,customs and behaviour for their educational purpose,
otherwise
 they can face difficulties.typically, if they can catch these aspects,it may lead to winning their aims easily.
Secondly
,
people
 who are going to other countries for their wealth, want to follow new customs and codes of behaviour.
For example
,if they going to work abroad,they may face meetings,parties
as well as
 get together,at that time they want to eat food by using forks
otherwise
 they feel ashamed .Undoubtedly,
this
 abandonment of behaviour makes significant consequences for their successful lives.
However
,if
people
 adopt a new civilization,it would have detrimental effects on their own
culture
.
Therefore
, the majority of families have a great influence on different cultures so they will lose their art.
As a result
 ,
culture
 and customs which are learnt by us by our ancestors,are not passed on to the next generation and they will not understand the value of their own
culture
.
For example
, a person who followed Tamil
culture
 has great devotion songs . If she/ he lost it they cannot give
this
 art to the next generation.
To conclude
, nowadays
people
 want to become wealthy and independent.
Therefore
 should learn about other cultures
as well as
 by learning
this
 , they will not face a cultural shock but it would lead to cultural loss
as a result
, they should follow their motherland cultures in order to prevent cultural loss.
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: