IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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This
Linking Words
 line chart compares the
citizenary
Correct your spelling
citizenry
 in four Asian countries which are, Malaysia, Philippines,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 during the time period from 1970 to 2040.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the proportion of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 population in Malaysia is the highest among all. Malaysia and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 show the same pattern in growing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
while
Linking Words
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 style of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. In 1970 Indonesian cities had the lowest number of citizens,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2040 it will have the second most population.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
Use synonyms
Thailand
Change noun form
Thailand's
show examples
 city populace showed
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
 trend until 1990 and it started to increase gradually from 1990 to 2020,
while
Linking Words
 it will
predicted
Change the verb form
be predicted
predict
show examples
 to rise in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 20 years.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure, in 2010 Philippines and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 had the same
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of city
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 at 40%.
Although
Linking Words
 the proportion was all the same between
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 which was 28% in 2010. Totally,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of the number of people in every
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
 that
given
Add a missing verb
is given
show examples
, will predict to increase in future
Submitted by skn  on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words thailand, indonesia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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