IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, environmental problems are too big to be managed by an individual person or individual country. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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 contemporary era, researchers believe that our surrounding areas and the ecosystem are facing serious issues. Some of them say that these issues are so huge that an individual human can handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 without helping all humans to survive. I am of the belief that countries and people should stand together to reduce the dangers of
this
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 issue. In the beginning, environmental problems
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 many effects on human life. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it is important to think about solving these several obstacles.
For instance
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, cutting trees in forests
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
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 the amount of air
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 will affect the global weather
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 only the specific area.
In other words
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, if a person stops cutting plants because he is aware of the
subsequences
Use the right word
consequences
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 of
this
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 problem
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then
Punctuation problem
, then
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 all society will do the same. And by that, the issue becomes a global issue
,
Punctuation problem
;
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therefore
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, all should work for it.
Moreover
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, global warming, cutting trees and hunting animals. All of these have a bad impact on our planet
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 that means all people
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 individuals and
governments
Punctuation problem
governments,
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 should have immediate plans to start working on them. To explain
in other words
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, gradually any problem can be solved if action
takes
Wrong verb form
is taken
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. Starting with the rules to prevent any person from
doing
Verb problem
engaging in
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 bad behaviour.
Also
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, factories should manage their work
not
Correct word choice
so as not
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 to harm our environment. One of the best examples that happens every year is the
global hour
Fix capitalization
Global Hour
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. All people and society work for improvement and change for the better.
To sum up
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, our surrounding areas and ecosystems should be protected from any misuse caused by human activity. It is our responsibility to keep the earth clean and clear by making a huge impact on individuals and governments.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly state your opinion and outline the main points you will discuss. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. This will improve the flow of your essay, making it easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are unclear and could be improved for better understanding.
task achievement
You show a clear understanding of environmental problems and the need for collective action. This is an important topic and your engagement with it is commendable.
task achievement
You provide a good range of environmental issues, which shows that you recognize the complexity of the topic. This is a positive aspect of your essay.
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