IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #people #money
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Some
people
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 argue about whether
money
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 is the only reason for
people
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 to immerse themselves in
work
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. In my opinion, other criteria are given equal consideration when talking about working hard. On the
one
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 hand,
money
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 is
one
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 of the most essential parts of
one
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’s life, it helps us build a safety zone. To be more specific, financial stability brings a sense of security, which can be liberating.
Moreover
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, having more
money
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 opens up new opportunities for higher education, career advancements, and travel experiences.
On the other hand
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, I believe that there are more reasons for
people
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 to pursue a career.
Firstly
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, working allow
people
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 to absorb new knowledge and learn new skills.
While
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 learning continuously at
work
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,
people
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 are able to catch up with the trend in today’s society.
Secondly
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, some
people
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 love interacting with
people
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, and most jobs involve cooperating and communicating with co-workers, in
this
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 case, it is a great choice for
people
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 to
work
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.
Last
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 but not least, working gives
people
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 satisfaction.
For example
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, after doing a variety of difficult tasks,
people
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 might get lots of compliments from their co-workers or even be rewarded by their boss,
people
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 tend to be satisfied and more confident about themselves. So in the long term,
this
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 might
also
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 be
one
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 of the things for
people
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 to
work
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 hard to earn at
work
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. In conclusion, even though
money
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 is
one
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 of the main reasons for
people
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 to
work
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 hard in their jobs, there are few things that
people
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 pursue in their careers.
Submitted by chiachen1999 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Monetary gain
  • Passion-driven
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Career progression
  • Professional development
  • Work-life balance
  • Job satisfaction
  • Societal expectations
  • Cultural values
  • Altruism
  • Positive impact
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal rewards
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Psychological aspects
  • Motivational factors
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