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Band 5

People's health is getting worse. It is assumed that it will lower in future than now. Upto what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #health #future #upto
The most serious topic of
this
 era
,
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 is regarding the quality of health as people are not sincere.Individuals today are less healthy as compared to the ones years back.There are many reasons behind it.I strongly agree with the statement and will substantiate my views regarding the same. First and
the
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apply
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foremost ,
is
Unnecessary verb
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the lifestyle the youngsters are following is not at all
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the mark as they only consume
the
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processed food which is very unhealthy.
Also
 , nowadays there is nothing
that is
 organically grown which directly affects the body in its nutrients content.On top of that, everyone in
this
 fast
life
 prefers to have something which is easy to cook and eat as they have less time in their busy schedule so, they switched to
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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 junk and unhealthy food items.
For example
ready to eat
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ready-to-eat
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 food packets , instant noodles and the list is
never ending
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never-ending
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. It is quite evident that due
the
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to the
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fast actioned
Add a hyphen
fast-actioned
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life
 there is no time to relax or do
the
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exercise
due to
 which
the
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obesity and different kinds of illness
enters
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enter
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 the body at
extremely
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an extremely
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 young age and medication starts with the same.
Moreover
, the young generation has forgotten the meaning of
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 diet and
life
 , which affects
the
Change the word
their
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 well-being and gradually the body
Fix the infinitive
to blow
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blow
Change the verb form
blows
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 out. Taking into consideration all the facts,it is crucial for mankind to think about the aspects of living a healthy
life
 and maintain it at any cost or else it can be out of control in the upcoming years.
Submitted by palshah87 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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