IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes. should these new homes be constructed in existing cities or should new towns be build in countryside

#countries #population #growth #homes #cities #towns #countryside
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increasing rate of population in most countries is calling for additional settlements,
subsequently
Linking Words
 pressuring governments to find better locations for housing either in rural or urban
areas
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, regional places are the best option to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 settlements, so that rural communities will receive opportunities to thrive. I believe that
cities
Use synonyms
 in many countries are already crowded and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
limited space to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 additional construction of
houses
Use synonyms
. To exemplify, New York City, one of the largest
cities
Use synonyms
 in America, is known for its tiny apartments or downsizing
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 as there is no space for suburbs. Another example is urban
areas
Use synonyms
 in Australia, in which the government is encouraging more
people
Use synonyms
 to relocate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 regional places. The continuous rise of population in
cities
Use synonyms
 is considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
drawbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
show examples
 as it
also
Linking Words
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributes
show examples
 to pollution and crime rates. These are the reasons why I support
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
 of maximising the benefits of building
houses
Use synonyms
 in the countryside. There are less number of
people
Use synonyms
 in the countryside, particularly in the far-flung
areas
Use synonyms
, which means that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 minimal pollution, a perfect location to live and raise families.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a huge land to maximise to build suburbs and facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
. Families can
also
Linking Words
 buy bigger lands and construct larger
houses
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cheaper costs, compared to those in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, lands and
houses
Use synonyms
 in Townsville Queensland are cheaper and bigger based on the social market.
Thus
Linking Words
, regional
areas
Use synonyms
 are better options for building new homes
due to
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 space and friendly environment. In conclusion,
cities
Use synonyms
 in most countries are crowded with
people
Use synonyms
 and business infrastructures that it poses challenges to
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
 more housing.
With
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
Linking Words
 reason, expanding the regional capacity to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 more settlements for
people
Use synonyms
 is
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
 recommended, so that government can
also
Linking Words
 give attention to the
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
 of regional
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by melcastillo15 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Infrastructure
  • Urban sprawl
  • Overcrowding
  • Sustainable development
  • Greener living spaces
  • Economic boost
  • Public services
  • Planned communities
  • Housing affordability
  • Social cohesion
  • Amenities
  • Cultural integration
  • Ecosystem
  • Alleviate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: