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Band 4.5

The graph shows the types of games people play in some country over a 7 year time period.

The graph shows the types of games people play in some country over a 7 year time period.
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The bar charts which were from The NPD Group revealed the
video
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game playing
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game-playing
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 trends in America. The data was published on MarketingCharts.co. in October 2021.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
time
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 period was from 2019 to 2021. The percentage of Americans involving in
video
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games
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 enhanced in 2020 but decreased in 2021.
On the contrary
Linking Words
 , the average of playing hours per
week
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 gradually increased through the 3 years. There were 73%
people
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of people
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 in the U.S.A. played
video
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games
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 and averagely spent 12.7 hours per
week
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 in 2019. One year later,
video
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 game players in the United States grow to 79%
while
Linking Words
 the
time
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 expenditure was raised to 14.8 hours for one
week
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.
Although
Linking Words
 the proportion of American players reduced to 76% in 2021, they invested more
time
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on
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in
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video
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games
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 than
the
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in the
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 past two years. We can tell from the two diagrams that the reliance
of
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on
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video
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games
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 expanded
according to
Linking Words
 the growth of average
time
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 cost per
week
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 even though the target population did not have a big difference.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words video, time, games, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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