IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car.
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The data provided in the form of pie charts compare the reasons for cycling and driving to
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main factors that cause people to choose to travel to
work
Use synonyms
 by bicycle are keeping fit and reducing pollution.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the vital reason to drive to the workplace is comforting. The first pie chart shows the importance of health and fitness and environmental issues are equally the same at 30% for people riding to
work
Use synonyms
. 15% of pupils tend to use bicycles to avoid problems relating to parking spaces.
However
Linking Words
, being free and faster encourage less than 15% of the population to commute by bike. The second pie chart illustrates a sizeable amount of the population 40% driving to
work
Use synonyms
 for comfort. Long distances forced 21% of people to travel by car.
Similarly
Linking Words
, less than 15% of the population go to
work
Use synonyms
 by engine vehicles as they are safer, faster and sometimes as they need to carry some stuff by themself.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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