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Writing Samples
Band 7

High school and university students should be required to complete a certain number of volunteer hours before graduating. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is a debate over whether high schoolers and university
students
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 should participate in
volunteer
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 work during their studies in order to graduate. In my opinion, volunteering is very crucial for them because it provides a sense of community and develops interpersonal skills. First of all, volunteering for
students
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 gives them a sense of community as they practice the notion of giving rather than only taking. By participating in any volunteering activity, they feel their visible contribution which is a very rewarding feeling.
In addition
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, they can participate in clubs where they sense the power of their voice and efforts in improving life conditions for others which will result in more responsible and self-aware individuals.
For example
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, I recall volunteering for a charity called Giving for collecting and cleaning used clothes for children. I was their accountant and whenever I heard a positive story of someone benefiting from what we offer, I felt really proud and content which motivated me to
volunteer
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 more.
Moreover
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, it helps in improving the interpersonal skills of
students
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,
such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 teamwork, communication and leadership. During
volunteer
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 work, they will engage with other volunteers to find solutions for problems or to create helpful practices that contribute positively to others.
For instance
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, a
volunteer
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 activity could be a group project for
students
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 to build shelters for stray cats where they can divide the tasks and responsibilities to achieve the objective.
This
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 will allow them to practice problem-solving, critical thinking and teamwork. In conclusion, high school and university
students
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 must
volunteer
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 for certain hours a week before graduating because it will teach them key lessons about their contribution to their communities and the enhancement of their personal skills.

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task response
Consider providing a counterargument or acknowledging potential downsides of mandatory volunteering to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more explicit linking phrases to further enhance the flow of your ideas, making the connections clearer for the reader.
task response
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the importance of volunteer work for students.
task response
The examples you provided were personal and relevant, effectively illustrating your points about community engagement and skill development.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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