Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays young
people
are not responsible;
thus
, they should not be married before they are 21
years
old,
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
I agree that
couples
should not be married until they are 21
years
old or more.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marriage is an institution that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must be taken with responsibility, sharing life with others is not a simple task.
This
generation of young
people
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have the responsibility to work and support their
basics
Change the noun form
basic
show examples
needs for themselves,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
they need their parents to be supported. The
21st century
Add a hyphen
21st-century
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youth only think
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
parties and social media, I do not think that they are mature enough to take
this
great responsibility.
Secondly
, I think that
couples
who married too young tend to divorce after living together for a
while
as they did not enjoy
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
life and they did not meet other
people
. Even though a lot of
couple
Change to a plural noun
couples
show examples
break up after they meet other
people
such
as
coworker
Fix the agreement mistake
coworkers
show examples
or colleagues. In my own
experience
Add a comma
experience,
show examples
I can give as an example
at
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apply
show examples
my older sister. She got pregnant
while
she was in high school, she was seventeen
years
old at that moment, and she lacked experience whether finding a job or most
important
Replace the word
importantly
show examples
becoming a wife and a mother. When
mi
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
niece was born all my family helped her because she was young to find a job,
also
to get married, and my parents wanted her to finish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school. When she was 21
years
old, she got married
with
Change the preposition
to
show examples
her boyfriend and they went to live together but after five
years
, my brother-in-law started
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university and met new
people
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he fell in love with a colleague and got
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
divorce from my sister. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marriage is a big issue for
couples
less than 21
years
old. I think that
couples
should not be married after they are 30
years
old or more, as long as their lives are stable, and they can cope with it. In my opinion,
couples
should be married after finishing a career and having a stable job.
Submitted by daniruspi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that statements and explanations are logically connected and flow smoothly from one point to the next to increase reader comprehension. Use connective words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. While personal experiences are valuable, incorporating broader examples or statistics can provide a stronger foundation for your main points.
task achievement
Address potential counterarguments within your essay to present a balanced and comprehensive perspective on the issue. This will demonstrate critical thinking and depth of analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your argument systematically.
task achievement
The personal example given about your sister helps to illustrate the point about the challenges of marrying young. Personal anecdotes can be powerful in making arguments more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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