Most societies are based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they wanted, society could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The life of the majority of the communities runs by the rules, which allow them to keep functioning.
In contrast
, the idea of the free will for each one may be detrimental for the society at large. I completely agree with this
statement and want to discover some aspects in this
essay.
First of all, one of the ultimate goals for society is to provide a fair, beneficial, and safe life for the majority of the participants. Thus
it is necessary to establish such
an environment where not only the strongest and the smartest can have access to all treasures, as it is in the animal world. Rules and obligations can provide even rights and support less fortunate individuals. For instance
, property laws can prevent situations when someone strong or powerful can evict a single mom with two children from their own house.
Furthermore
, laws can dramatically reduce violence and crime and make the community a safe place. If each individual can do anything they want without the sense of the inevitable punishment, this
community may quickly reduce in number, become dysfunctional, or even disappear as some people would use force against each other or even commit murders. The examples can be found in poor criminal areas, where the ultimate goal for any average individual is to stay alive and leave this
area as quickly as possible.
In conclusion, most of the modern societies are using a set of rules to be functional. If everyone is permitted to act as they want it may lead to disaster and the disappearing of this
community. I believe it is crucial to follow laws to live in a prospering society.Submitted by mnb54ya3flc on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures more and using a wider range of linking words. While your essay flows well, increased complexity in sentence construction could enhance the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, summarising your main points effectively. You've done well in including them but refining their content to better mirror each other can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To better support your main points, include more specific examples or data that could substantiate your arguments. This could involve citing particular studies or historical examples.
task achievement
For task achievement, aim to fully respond to all parts of the prompt by discussing potential counter-arguments or nuances in the statement. This adds depth to your essay.
task achievement
Continue to develop clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Enhancing the depth and analysis of these ideas can improve task achievement. Looking into secondary implications or effects can add complexity to your arguments.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This provides evidence for your arguments and demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite