IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views give opinions.

#people #children #education #age #think #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people argue that
children
Use synonyms
 ought to start their primary education from an early age. Others believe that they should not attend school until they turned 7.
Although
Linking Words
 starting at a very early age can provide teachers with the opportunity to help
parents
Use synonyms
 with a better upbringing, I would argue that it is for the betterment of offspring to solely be under the influence of their
parents
Use synonyms
 for their first 7. Those who recommend early education start for
children
Use synonyms
 often contend that it can assist
parents
Use synonyms
 with the upbringing of their
children
Use synonyms
. Teachers with substantial knowledge and experience from tutoring
children
Use synonyms
 are an invaluable source of information on how to treat a
child
Use synonyms
 and
subsequently
Linking Words
 can give useful advice to
parents
Use synonyms
 ,especially during the first 7 years when the
child
Use synonyms
's characteristics are forming.
This
Linking Words
 advice could not be available if teachers do not have access to kids.
By contrast
Linking Words
, an educator who trains a
child
Use synonyms
 and observes their behaviour can make a recommendation to enhance the growth of the kid.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that the first 7 years of growth is the most delicate period in every
child
Use synonyms
's upbringing, and
as a result
Linking Words
, should not be disrupted by a long-term interaction with other kids or a possible mistreatment of an unprofessional tutor. It is advisable to maintain the raising responsibility with mere
parents
Use synonyms
 to ensure building the desired traits.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the offspring will shape up to hold the habits and characteristics of their classmates or teacher, which may not be what
parents
Use synonyms
 intended. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 beginning formal education at a very early age can be useful
Use synonyms
parents
Change preposition
for parents
show examples
 in the case of an experienced and professional tutor handling the
child
Use synonyms
's training, I would argue that sending them to school after they have turned 7 is more beneficial for personality formation.
Submitted by sajadtorab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social development
  • structured learning environments
  • essential skills
  • reading, writing, and arithmetic
  • social norms
  • undue stress and pressure
  • natural curiosity and creativity
  • unstructured play
  • emotional and psychological development
  • mature
  • rigors of formal education
  • natural developmental timeline
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • informal learning
  • structured educational system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: