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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that it is better to accept an unpleasant situation, such as an unhappy job or financial problems, while others believe that people should try to improve it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, it has often been argued that people should accept difficult circumstances,
such
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 as dissatisfaction at work or financial struggles,
while
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 others maintain that it is more beneficial to strive for improvement.
Although
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 accepting reality can sometimes provide temporary peace of mind, I strongly believe that
individuals
Use synonyms
 should make efforts to change their situation for long-term growth and happiness. On the one hand, acceptance of an unpleasant situation can sometimes be a practical choice. Not everyone has the resources or opportunities to change jobs or increase income.
For instance
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, people living in remote areas may face limited employment options, which means they must adapt to what is available in order to survive.
Moreover
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, accepting reality can reduce psychological stress, as constant comparison with others often leads to dissatisfaction. By learning to appreciate what they already have,
individuals
Use synonyms
 may achieve greater contentment and focus on other aspects of life,
such
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 as maintaining relationships and good health.
On the other hand
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, making an effort to improve one’s situation usually brings more substantial benefits. People who are unhappy with their jobs can search for better opportunities, pursue
further
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 education, or even start their own businesses. These actions may require time and effort, but they often result in higher income and a stronger sense of achievement in the future.
Furthermore
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, financial difficulties can be alleviated if
individuals
Use synonyms
 actively manage their spending, seek additional sources of income, or set long-term goals. Unlike passive acceptance, these proactive steps can lead to sustainable improvement and greater life satisfaction. In conclusion,
while
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 acceptance may bring short-term comfort, it is striving for improvement that leads to lasting progress and fulfilment.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that
individuals
Use synonyms
 should not merely resign themselves to unfavourable circumstances but should
instead
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 take action to create a better future for themselves.

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task
Explain both sides well and add your final view clearly at the end.
task
Add more real life examples for each idea to show proof.
coherence
Use clear link words to show how ideas compare and contrast.
coherence
Keep sentences short and easy to read to help flow.
purpose
Your view comes out clearly in the last part.
structure
The essay has two clear parts with links.
content
Examples fit the point and stay on the topic.
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