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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period
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The provided line chat illustrates how many
Use synonyms
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
received
Add a missing verb
were received
show examples
 by the Tourist Information Office in a town by three
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
 (in person, by telephone, by
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
) over a six-month period in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the
enquires
Use synonyms
 by conversation method increased,
while
Linking Words
enquires
Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 received by
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
 decreased throughout the given period. Regarding the two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
 which required communication two ways. In January
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
 was the most popular which accounted for 900 and still rose over the given period at 1400.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
person were become the lowest at the start, people tend to
used
Change the verb
use
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 direct conversation, which is shown
exceed
Fix the infinitive
to exceed
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 other type of
enquires
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 in April and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in June at 1900. In terms of the rest
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enquires
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 tools received
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 by
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
. Even though at the start it
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
showed
has shown
show examples
 the second rank,
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 who used
Use synonyms
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
/
email
Use synonyms
 fell steadily until the end from almost 800 to around 400.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words enquires, letter, email with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
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