People are surrounded by advertising, which has an incresing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

In
this
contemporary era, with most uses of technology
such
as TV , radio , and mobile phones advertisements become a usual part of our lives. Advertising is a powerful and persuasive medium. I believe that the beneficial effects of
ads
overpower the detrimental effects. On the positive aspect, advertisements provide us with information about significantly newly launched products on a routine basis. Through the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
ads
many beauty and other conventional products would be bought easily.
In addition
, advertisement provides an important service to consumers and manufacturers and
also
brings a lucrative job market to the industry. With respect to that it has become the backbone of most economies of the world.
Furthermore
, it touches the social issues.
For instance
, When popular celebrities do endorsement of any product it
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
the sales of the product easily.
Moreover
, advertisement gives valuable information about every field of the world which helps people to know about different cultural values.
On the other hand
, it
also
has some downside, because of adverts, sometimes we buy what tempts us without the insight into what we need actually.
For example
, Impressive videos, images or captions from our favourite celebrities are bound to leave imprints on us.
Secondly
,
ads
are very disturbing sometimes. Television commercials are the best example of
this
which always comes up
while
watching our favourite program. Some
ads
show dangerous stunts which is harmful to the children and they may get hurt. in conclusion, adverts have their advantages and disadvantages. Inevitably, the merits outstrip the demerits. The onus lies on us to look into our real needs and now be swayed by advertisements.
Submitted by joshiami7570 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
You need to provide more specific examples to support your points. Ensure that your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented, with a focus on the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure. However, work on providing more specific examples to support your points and ensure that your ideas are well-supported throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
You have used a good range of vocabulary throughout the essay. However, be mindful of word choice to ensure precision and clarity in your writing.
Grammatical Range
You have demonstrated a good grasp of grammar and sentence structure. Ensure that your sentence structure is varied and your writing is error-free.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: