It is well known that technological and scientific advancements have brought great changes in the range and quality of our food. Some people consider it an improvement while others believe that the change is harmful. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Many
people
understand that the growing advancement of technology and science promotes the variety and quality of food
. While
some people
think this
is a positive improvement, others are sceptical of its potential negative consequences. I partially support the former view, for it can save thousands of lives of those suffering from starvation regardless of some dangers of products invented artificially.
On the one hand, the improvement of machinery and science will lead to an increase in food
, which promotes better health conditions for people
around the world. In other words
, people
have more choices of different kinds of harvests. This
allows them to absorb more essential nutrients and minerals, which provide more physical strength that supports their daily activities. For instance
, a number of starving children in developing nations have already been saved as they are able to access more food
imported from Western countries such
as the United States whose technology is so advanced to produce healthy food
. Therefore
, it not only leads to a lower rate of death but also
promotes their learning opportunities so they can gain various knowledge and skills, which sustains the local economy in the future.
On the other hand
, there is a threat of some agricultural products being created to harm people
's health. Indeed, there are often serious side effects that come with artificially invented vegetables and fruits. Although
a wide range of beans are being produced by people
transforming their genes to contain more nutrients, the excessive consumption of such
genetically modified food
is likely to increase the rate of cancer and other diseases due to
unexpected chemical reactions. Furthermore
, the spread of these modified harvests may shorten their longevity in the long run. Consequently
, there will be a growing sense of insecurity toward the food
since many people
start to doubt their biological content.
In conclusion, I somewhat believe that incredible progress will be made in the range and quality of food
with the latest automation and science because the growth of nutritious meals can save many lives , especially in developing countries. However
, people
should not neglect the fact that agricultural products whose genes are transformed by humans can be harmful and raise risks of getting serious diseases.Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
Great job addressing both views and providing your own opinion. It would be beneficial to expand a bit more on the potential negative consequences you mentioned to provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with clear introduction and conclusion. Improve the logical flow by connecting ideas more smoothly between paragraphs, and ensure each point supports your thesis clearly.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. This could involve providing more in-depth analysis and exploring counterarguments to strengthen your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Although your points are coherent, work on connecting sentences within paragraphs better. Use more transitional phrases to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides relevant and specific examples which effectively support your main points, making your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, providing a clear framework for your essay.