IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree?

#people #person #culture #practices #customs
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While
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 it is obvious that foreigners should follow
other’s
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other
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 countries' behaviour and
rules
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, they have to
respect
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 them too. I believe that it depends on the situation. One reason why
people
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 should
respect
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 other
people
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’s cultures is that they can understand them and get assistance from locals easily. If they saw a tourist give them enough
respect
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 by following their culture, they would not hesitate to help them, even though the consequences are severe.
For example
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, some citizens could help tourists who seem similar to them more than other tourists.
Thus
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, by following their habits, visitors could earn local love, and they could be treated very well. To put it simply, by respecting the country’s
rules
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 and being humble and kind to the locals, they will be appreciated, and they will try their best to assist them.
However
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 international visitors should not go far to please and impress the locals, especially, if that would come against their beliefs and maybe their religion.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 must
respect
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 others.
People
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 who do not
respect
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 themselves, will not be respected by others. A lot of
people
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 will avoid those who over-imitate others without thinking.
For instance
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, religions,
such
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 as Islam have prohibited drinking for good reasons, so many individuals around the world, don't drink.
Hence
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, some religions may allow drinking,
while
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 some of them don’t. In
this
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 situation,
people
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 must follow their
rules
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,
instead
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 of following others’
rules
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. In conclusion, it is nice to follow other nations'
rules
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 and practices, but without breaking their
rules
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. If
people
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 balanced their culture and other cultures, they could communicate better and make a meaningful impact.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Task Response
Ensure you fully address the prompt by providing a balanced view on the extent of agreement as specified in the task question. Include a clear opinion and support it with specific examples and reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas in a way that clearly presents the relationship between your arguments. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, and ensure that supporting points are logically arranged and connected.
Lexical Resource
Increase the variety of vocabulary used, including synonyms and more advanced vocabulary, to enhance the richness of your writing and demonstrate a wider range of lexical resources.
Grammatical Range
Work on the accuracy and complexity of your grammar. Include more varied sentence structures, use complex sentences to express relationships between ideas, and ensure accurate and consistent use of grammar throughout the essay.
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