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Writing Samples
Band 5

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #possessions #measure #person
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It is true that the reunion of treasure and material belongings is often used as a definition of
success
Use synonyms
 in life. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why I disagree with
this
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 view, and I believe that there are other major factors
to
Correct pronoun usage
that to
show examples
 lead
success
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. There is no particular method to measure how a successful
person
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 is, which regularly changes from one
person
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 to another.
This
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 is because the calculation of it will always vary
according to
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 personal goals, achievements and abilities. An intelligent
person
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,
For instance
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, who has received many certificates in his domain can be considered to be a successful
person
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 or
this
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 type of
person
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 who
got
Verb problem
is
show examples
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 might
also
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 be a traveller. In
this
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 case, material belongings should not indicate how successful
this
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person
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 is.
Therefore
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,
although
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 wealth would bring a feeling of
success
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, it can only be one of the ways that leads to
success
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.
That
Correct pronoun usage
What
show examples
 certainly makes the difference regarding
this
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 topic is how much effort and dedication someone can put into daily activities when pursuing their personal goals. If there is no combination of these features, it would be difficult to achieve
success
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 life no matter what. A sportsman who wants to be successful should not only spend his entire life getting what he desires but
also
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 try to go forward in any hardships without any fear,
for example
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.
Furthermore
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, family support might
also
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 be an integral part of being successful because family is undoubtedly a source of motivation when a
person
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 faces failure. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 fortune and material poverty can be irrelevant in terms of
success
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 scale,
however
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,
success
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 could be based on people’s accomplishments, pursuits and family.
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coherence cohesion
Provide specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the question to achieve higher scores.
task achievement
Make sure your essay fully addresses the task prompt, and provide more comprehensive ideas and examples to support your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Affluence
  • Materialism
  • Fulfillment
  • Well-being
  • Philanthropy
  • Societal norms
  • Personal growth
  • Economic power
  • Subjective
  • Humanitarian
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