IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is often argued that a significant number of
museums
taking
a Wrong verb form
take
fee
for the signup process, while
some people believed
it should be free of cost. From my point of view, visitors will be more concerned about Wrong verb form
believe
museums
after spending money on entry. Here I would explain why charges
are feasible to a certain extent.
Primarily, well-known art museums
from all across the world are taking a certain amount of money from their visitors; however
, charges
are not considerably higher. For example
, Albert Hall is an
exquisitely known for its ancient artefacts Correct article usage
apply
has
an entry Correct word choice
and has
fee
for tourists and the museum
authorities are using the masses' money to maintain the museum
by including security
of the art gallery. Correct article usage
the security
Hence
, paid Halls are well-maintained and tourists are willing to visit over there repeatedly.
Secondly
, If art galleries will
have an entrance Verb problem
apply
fee
, folk who are really interested to explore
the halls will visit, whilst non-social elements will avoid going there. Change preposition
in exploring
For instance
, the Museum
of France was free to visit for everyone a few years ago, but later, on they started entry charges
due to
a severeaccident
which occurred by the commotion of some boisterous lads. Correct your spelling
severe accident
In addition
, the museum
administration found out that they can
prevent Wrong verb form
could
such
those
kinds of mishappenings by taking Correct determiner usage
apply
charges
from the visitors. Eventually, It worked to a great extent.
In conclusion, museums
and halls are integral parts of a country's glorious history that uphold ancient things. From my perspective, all museums
should have a little
Correct word choice
small
fee
to keep secure them and maintain them for a long time. Ergo, governments and private institutes should take accountability to take care of national properties.Submitted by nkdharniya on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of charging for museum admission, but the ideas are not fully developed. It is recommended to provide more detailed examples and explanations to support the points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to structure the essay with a proper introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...