In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to research other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, increasing globalisation and sudden climate change would cause difficulty for human beings to survive with unlimited resources.
Therefore
, some individuals would be thinking of organising research on the capability of living on
the other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
planet
, where we could survive in the
future
and the government should
put investment
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
phenomenon. For
this
, I partially agree with the given
fundamental
Fix the agreement mistake
fundamentals
show examples
of life living on the other
planet
. The advancement in modern technology of the current century has been in app plenty of full use of daily human activities but increasing global changes and atmospheric
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
could determine our
future
living on our
planet
Earth.
However
, we could take minimum measures to extra gauge
this
complication, but it would not be enough where investing in scientific research
is of
Verb problem
to
show examples
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
humans living in similar worlds would be like saving experiment. The scientific discovery would
going to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be expensive and the probability of
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
it
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
unsuccessful.
For example
, several nations have already started their progression of looking for
unable
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
planets where human living and environment could not differ in comparison to our atmosphere, but miserably it will be nearly impossible to live on the
planet
's surroundings and we should have to accept
this
truth.
On the other hand
, the government, and we would rather have to encourage spending to determine ongoing dilemmas around the globe. The
fundamental
Fix the agreement mistake
fundamentals
show examples
of the spirit
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
reasonable in my perspective
instead
of an insignificant approach in allocating money or researching unfaithful development.
For instance
, improving the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
by measuring problems which cause effects could be a pragmatic way to optimise environmental causes rather than unpleasant, innovative ideas.
In addition
, specifically allocating the budget to the agriculture sector would be more beneficial
while
scientific research will bring the solution to
future
food, hunger, and starvation problems through developing laboratory-grown vegetables.
This
could be a reasonable option to control upcoming obstacles.
To conclude
human existence will be the cause of the destruction of a
planet
but we should have to take precautions to save the current and
further
humankind.
Although
living on Mars or any
planet
would look fascinating it is unrealistic right now and
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
could become successful in the
future
.
Submitted by user349953 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate to the main argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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