It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

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Nowadays many individuals
seeking
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seek
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living
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to live
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privatiely
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privately
as personal
business
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development because
many
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much
show examples
young thinking of how important
is
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are
show examples
profets
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profits
dependant life and creative ideas which allow them to be more specific about
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thier
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their
own ambition and my opinion is absolutely positive . Despite the earliest old generation
whom
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apply
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their desire
working
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to work
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for
organization
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the organization
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being
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a benefit
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benefit
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beneficial
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for
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apply
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them and
enough
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be enough
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for the family requirements.
However
Linking Words
,
ruuning
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running
a personal
business
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need more information and knowledge . The first reason for young generation
prefere
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prefer
prefers
business
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is that many of them
joing emploee
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join employee
program and they found underestimation for
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thier
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their
abilities in the organisation and
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thier
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their
creative personal activity and communication skills which does not apply to
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thier
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their
own dreams and
finally
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they end up with resignation and running
small
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a small
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business
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which eventually
rise
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rises
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up with abilities and knowledge. For
instence
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instance
,
labratory
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laboratory
technologist Mr.
mohamed
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Mohamed
show examples
who
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apply
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started his road in primary health care but after as
technician
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a technician
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he found himself working in a chair running machines with technical abilities which he can rise
it
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apply
show examples
up with
own
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his own
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business
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which now includes many companies with different
mode
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modes
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online and worldwide.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many
teneege
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teenage
adult
way
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ways
show examples
of thinking on
profets
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profits
and creativity which
its
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it's
it is
show examples
not allowed under the rules of
orgnizational
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organizational
employment. The opportunities of online marketing find
itsway
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its way
through people to spread
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thier
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their
product with
less
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a less
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expensive way to get easy money with
less
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fewer
show examples
efforts
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effort
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which allow them to live
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thier
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their
personal life
independent
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independently
show examples
and its a point of view which cannot be with
govermental
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governmental
government
staffing .
Up on
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In
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my opinion and based on many recent
experience
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experiences
show examples
with
much
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many
show examples
young people building a
business
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consider
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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to be
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being
show examples
vital for them to build
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
dream and at the same time to leave
happely
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happily
happy
much more time and for
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
I think the
penfites
Correct your spelling
benefits
of
selfemployment
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self-employment
self employment
is much
healther
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healthier
, knowledgeable and more creative aspiring others and am much positive
yhan
Correct your spelling
than
its drawback .
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • aspiration
  • entrepreneur
  • flexibility
  • decision-making
  • financial rewards
  • personal fulfillment
  • challenges
  • financial risk
  • invested capital
  • cash flow
  • guaranteed income
  • work-life balance
  • responsibility
  • pressure
  • burnout
What to do next:
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