Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?

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In the modern world, the development of technology has many positive impacts on the world.

However

, the elderly face difficulties when using mobile phones and the Internet.

This

essay will discuss some benefits the elderly have when using advanced technologies and some ways to encourage them to consume

electronics

. There are some advantages to using technology for senior

citizens

Firstly

elders

can connect with other people. It is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

fact that some senior

citizens

stay alone at home in the countryside because they live far from their children, who are working and studying in big cities. By using smartphones and the Internet to communicate, some

elders

build close-knit relationships with their children and avoid isolation.

Secondly

, some senior citizen, who suffer from many diseases, are served their health quickly in hospitals. The elderly can book hospital checks in advance and pay digital bills before checking because hospitals keep track of their infection histories.

As a result

elders

can gain some benefits from using technological

devices

. The elderly can be encouraged to

use

electronics

more often in some ways.

Firstly

, more meetings will be organised to guide the elderly in using technological

devices

Due to

senior

citizens

limit

Wrong verb form

limited

show examples

to update the latest technologies, governments should take action to increase the frequency of using these

devices

among senior

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

Secondly

, some technological companies should research and launch special

devices

for

elders

because they often struggle with small text on screens. Developing

devices

with larger buttons and fonts will help

elders

use

consumer

electronics

easily.

Thus

, there are two ways to motivate

elders

use

technological

devices

. In conclusion, technological

devices

can provide some benefits for senior

citizens

in communication and using healthcare services. The elderly are motivated to

use

consumer

electronics

Change preposition

through

show examples

guided meetings and the development of special

devices

Submitted by windy.blog155 on Mon Aug 14 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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