There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, many young
people
are under the pressure of academic study to succeed. Some people
argue that non-academic subjects
such
as P.E. or cookery are not necessary and should be abolished from the school syllabus to allow children
to concentrate on their studies. However
, I disagree with this
opinion. In this
essay, I will explain for
the benefits of learning non-academics and give my opinion.
Change preposition
apply
Firstly
, children
can learn society rules and communication skills from non-academic subjects
. For example
, when they do some sports in P.E. class, they need to follow many rules. And they will also
understand that teamwork is essential to win games. Obey the rules and communication will be important in most workplaces which they will belong to when they grow up, so children
should learn them by doing sports naturally.
In addition
, some non-academic subjects
can provide knowledge of human health. For instance
, children
can learn about healthy ingredients and their nutrition in a cookery class. Even if a lot of adults today don't know about it, and then
, people
are suffering illnesses which are caused by their unhealthy foods. Thus
, I believe that learning about food and understanding their health and health problems from when they are still young age is necessary for children
.
In conclusion, some people
say that subjects
which are unrelated to academic work should be removed but I believe they are important to live
our society when Change the verb form
living
children
become adults. If people
consider seriously about future of children
, they notice the importance.Submitted by mayu1022.p on
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Introduction & Thesis Statement
Begin by carefully analyzing the essay prompt and ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the question. While your introduction sets the stage for your argument, explicitly stating your thesis can strengthen your position.
Sentence Structure
Diversify the structures of your sentences to enhance readability and engage your audience. Utilizing a mix of complex, compound, and simple sentences can demonstrate linguistic versatility.
Supporting Evidence
To enhance your argument, support your main points with a wider variety of examples, data, or authoritative opinions. This evidential depth strengthens your argument's persuasiveness and credibility.
Linking & Cohesion
Ensure coherence by using linking words and phrases effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs, aiding the reader’s understanding and improving the flow of your essay.
Conclusion
End your essay with a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position, ensuring it is clear and definitive. This reaffirms your argument to the reader and concludes your thoughts cohesively.
Balanced Development
Balance the development of your points throughout your essay to ensure each is equally explored and explained. Avoid placing excessive emphasis on one aspect at the expense of others.
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