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Writing Samples
Band 4

With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved?

In the modern world,
values
Use synonyms
 of tradition and custom are being diminished
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it has emerged as a pressing issue in contemporary society, with serious implications.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse the underlying problems and propose feasible solutions to address the challenges posed by heritage.
To begin
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 with, each society had a culture and vivid traditions in the past.
However
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, after
,
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apply
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modernisation
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 vast majority of people have become a stereotype because new modern trends have a paramount impact on individuals'
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. The foremost issue with modernisation is losing traditions.
This
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 problem stems from Western societies because there
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 been extensive development during the industrial revolution.
For instance
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, the majority of companies try to
take
Verb problem
capture
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 customers' attention with their products because each year
a
Punctuation problem
, a
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concept is created by these companies
that is
Linking Words
 followed by customers.
As a result
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, from clothes to eating habits, everything has changed in our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
This
Linking Words
 trend has created new modern human beings who would be able to spend a thousand dollars to look like famous people.
On the other hand
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, globalisation is another critical aspect of traditional
values
Use synonyms
. The main reason behind globalisation is immigration. Because there has been an influx into new cities by people who live in the countryside for career prospects and
high
Correct article usage
a high
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living
Check wording
apply
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standard.
Nevertheless
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, individuals could not carry their heritage and traditional
values
Use synonyms
 to cities as a resort to adapt to new areas.
As a result
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, their
values
Use synonyms
 are being
vanished
Verb problem
lost
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 day by day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, tradition plays a crucial role in human
life
Use synonyms
 on the grounds that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 these
values
Use synonyms
 give positive emotional development and enhance their identity and belonging to a community. To tackle these challenges, several viable solutions can be implemented.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals would gather with each other to celebrate special days with their traditional clothes and meals
and
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, and
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 it could be effective to increase the feeling of community spirit. In conclusion, traditional
values
Use synonyms
 and customs are integral parts of human
life
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 these
values
Use synonyms
 should be preserved.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Say what you will talk about and in what order.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph. Use linking words to show how ideas fit together.
content
Give more real, simple examples to back your points.
language
Use short, clear sentences. Check grammar and avoid long run-ons.
content
Keep to the task. Stay on the topic of tradition and how to keep it alive.
idea
The essay shows a real aim to talk about how trad values can be kept alive.
planning
There is an idea of using local events and clothes to keep trad values.
coherence
The essay links the topic to modern life and how fast change comes.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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