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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the people use public library and the main reasons to visit in Britain in 1991 and 2000

The charts below give information about the people use public library and the main reasons to visit in Britain in 1991 and 2000
#information #people #library #visit #britain
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The pie chart
compare
Change the verb form
compares
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 the proportion of visitors who use the communal library and the reasons why they came to between 1991 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 used public
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
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 to borrow or return
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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. It is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who came to public
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
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 to obtain information has a
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
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 1991 to 2000.
Looing
Correct your spelling
Looking
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 at the figure in
furthur
Correct your spelling
further
 detail, it is evident that the proportion of
speding
Correct your spelling
spending
speeding
 on visitors to
borrow
Wrong verb form
borrowing
show examples
 or
return
Wrong verb form
returning
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 was 65% in 1991 and
then
Linking Words
 slightly decrease to 55% in 2000. It is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that there was 15% of
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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wanted
read
Fix the infinitive
to read
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newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
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 or magazine.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
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 percentage had
went
Change the verb form
gone
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 down to 5%. Turning to remain
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the rate of individuals who came to study sharply fell down to 2% after
started
Wrong verb form
starting
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 at 10%. Before there was 20% of
people
Use synonyms
 who wanted to obtain information, it started at 10% as same as visitors came to study. In 2000
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the new area of
people
Use synonyms
 who came to borrow or return videos accounted for 18%
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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