Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #music #culture #ages

This

is argued that

music

is an effective way of bringing

people

together, regardless of their age and cultural background. I agree with

this

statement to some extent. In my opinion,

music

can play a major role in the closeness of

people

, but there are some exceptions. It is obvious that almost everyone enjoys

music

. Nowadays, most

people

are able to play, at least, one musical instrument, and it is a worldwide hobby.

Furthermore

, there is a rich background of musical festivals and traditions in human history.

For instance

, ancient Egyptians used to dance as a way of showing respect to their gods, and

this

approach to dancing and singing is not limited to them.

In addition

, it is scientifically proven that

music

can improve

people

's mental condition, and it is easier to communicate with each other when we are in a good mood.

Finally

, I think that rhyme is a universal language, and individuals are able to understand that regardless of their mother tongues.

As a result

, even if

people

do not speak the same language, they are still able to share the pleasure of hearing the rhythm.

On the other hand

, it is a big claim to say all

people

enjoy all kinds of

music

and rhythm. Each society has a particular favourite

music

style. As a matter of fact, the instruments that are used on the eastern side of the globe are extremely different from the ones that are played on the western side. Another notable fact is that hearing

music

and dancing are not allowed in all communities, especially when it comes to religion.

For example

, the society of Muslims refuses to hear some sort of

music

, and

that is

because they believe that only reciting the Holy Quran is acceptable, and other kinds of songs are not.

Overall

, I imagine we should avoid using the word "all" when we are speaking about different cultures. In conclusion, I restate that

due to

the rich history of musical activities in most cultures, listening to songs can lead to a significant closeness in society, but we should take those religious and strict communities into account,

as well as

people

's different tastes in

music

Submitted by athena.karimzadeh on Mon Aug 14 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

365 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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