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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In some countries, high school graduates continue to live with their parents
while
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 attending university,
whereas
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 , in others,
students
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 tend to enrol in an educational establishment outside of their home city.
While
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 managing
life
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 far from home can be stressful for many freshmen, I believe that unique
life
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 skills
such
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 as household organization and budgeting are so beneficial for college learners that they are worth the drawbacks. There are various benefits for
students
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 doing their schooling away from family. Independent living allows young people to acquire hands-on experience in managing their lives
such
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 as working with the landlord, designing their interiors, and doing personal budgeting.
Furthermore
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, if
students
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 share their rent with others, they start to learn the art of relationship management.
For example
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, some of my best friends from college are those who shared rent with me, because we not only shared a place to live but
also
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 embraced the ups and downs of college
life
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 together. That said, whether living with a friend or alone, first-time university
students
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 face numerous stressors unknown to them before, but I believe that there are viable solutions to
this
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.
For instance
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, without family support,
students
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 have to deal with their new challenges alone,
not to mention
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 challenging academic requirements. In
such
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 cases, higher education officials can be a treasured alternative to family in terms of student support.
This
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 is certainly true in the case of my university in the UK which used to offer all sorts of help for international
students
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such
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 as finding a house to rent and improving my English skills for academic purposes. In conclusion, the values of doing higher education away from home far outweigh the downsides of it. Apart from valuable
life
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 skills, if
students
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 receive support from the educational institutions that they attend, they have even higher chances to grow into well-rounded human beings, not just good
students
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to maintain consistency in terminology, such as using 'university students' instead of alternating with 'college learners' to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider variety of connecting words and phrases to further enhance the flow between your ideas. This will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a strong introduction that clearly presents your opinion on the topic.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure and clear paragraphs that contribute to the overall coherence. The points are well-supported with relevant examples.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.
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