The availability of forms of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and the society in which they live. Do you agree and disagree?

#availability #forms #entertainment #video #games #devices #individuals #society

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The ubiquity of

video

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games is undeniable, especially in the form of handheld

devices

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However

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, it has sparked heated controversies many people claim that

this

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kind of entertainment can harm individuals and the society in which they live. From my perspective, I agree with some reasons below. On the one hand, when people have to solve many tasks in school or the workplace, they are under pressure.

Then

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, using

video

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games on handheld

devices

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is inevitable and we can balance our lives between entertainment and work. We can control the time we spend on

this

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which does not bring negative impacts on health.

In addition

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, these

devices

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are portable in order to bring through travelling or camping which is convenient for households. These

devices

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may be a funny and versatile game for

offsprings

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offspring

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However

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, it

also

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brings detrimental parts to our daily lives.

First,

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we can see apparently the eye problems it leads to

such

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as Myopia, red eyes,...

due to

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its handy size and portability. If we are addicted to these

devices

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, we easily get long-term health issues and sedentary lifestyles.

As a consequence

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, being unable to concentrate on work may occur, which includes deprivation, stress, mood disorder,...

Besides

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, the mass production of these

video

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game handheld

devices

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has demerit points in the environment. In detail, plastics and batteries in these cutting-edge

devices

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are hard to degradable in a short period and release into the environment an amount of toxic air pollutants if we try to burn them to get a higher degradable process.

As a result

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, humans are the culprits, and

also

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the victims. In conclusion, even though these gadgets are versatile for our daily lives

due to

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their convenience and modernity. I am of the opinion that

video

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game handheld

devices

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bring more drawbacks because of their bad effects on health and the environment .

Submitted by okookk123456 on Mon Mar 11 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure your essay fully addresses all aspects of the task. Consider both sides of the argument more equally and develop your points with more detailed explanations and a wider range of examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, focus on linking ideas more smoothly and logically from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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The availability of forms of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and the society in which they live. Do you agree and disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Is there advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Today many people work until a later age. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Research shows that increasing numbers of people are now living in mega-cities: cities of more than 20 million inhabitants. Is this a positive or negative development?