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Band 4.5

Since people can study through the internet, schools have become unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #study #internet #schools
Nowadays, some people argue that
schools
 will be unnecessary in the near future. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pupils are able to study on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 in the house. I strongly believe that
schools
 are necessary places for
students
. In recent years, we had experience
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 internet
studies
 because of Covid-19.
As a result
, we achieved high-tech solutions for online classes
such
 as Zoom, Skype and Google Meet etc. They are able that,
although
students
 do not go
school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
, they can study at home. And, if they will do not go to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
, they will be comfortable in the morning.
That is
 because anymore they do not take buses, bicycles and subways.
Students
 will not have stress from going to
school
.
However
,
schools
 exist for reasons
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 not only
studies
.
Schools
 teach
studies
 and communication
skills
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society. Communication
skills
 for society are learnt only in
schools
, not learning the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Such
 as several
friends
Change noun form
friends'
friend's
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Skills
 education are very important subjects for pupils. When they grow up , the
skills
 are essential
necessary
Correct word choice
and necessary
show examples
 for society's lives.
Also
, if,
schools
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
disappear, they do not have good memories of picnics,
school
 trips and only events of
schools
. And, pupils sit at
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 desks and look at the computer
moniter
Correct your spelling
monitor
 always. Their body will need vitamin D,c and workout. For the reason mentioned above, I would disagree with my opinion because
students
 go to
school
 not only for
studies
. Social
somminication
Correct your spelling
communication
skills
 ,friendships,
making
Correct word choice
and making
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good memories of
school
 lives are all needed by
students
 for their development.
Submitted by moneekun on

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