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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#restoration #buildings #cities #world #costs #government #expenditure #money #road #development
Nowadays, many countries are spending a lot of
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 rebuilding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old architecture. Some
people
 argue that the
money
 should be used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other places like new
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and new
roads
.
However
, I strongly believe that new
buildings
 and new
roads
Change the noun form
road
show examples
 construction will not have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
effect
 more than old
buildings
 are restored. New houses and road development are to create new jobs. That means more
people
 earn
money
.So,
people
 save
money
 and they have new houses and convenient
roads
.But new construction is not limited, so
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of built(so when the construction is completed), the number of workers continuously again will go down.
Therefore
,
this
 argument
many
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 seem to have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
effect
 in the short term but it will be no good
effect
 in the long term.
On the other hand
, restoring old
buildings
 seems like to not
necessary
Change the word
necessarily
show examples
 working .
However
, after the restoration, the
brad
Correct your spelling
brand
show examples
 new
buildings
 will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
randmarks
Correct your spelling
landmark
landmarks
(will become prominent landmarks) and good
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 for travelling. if that happens
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, more
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 will come to trip to the countries.
As a result
, the countries will have good jobs and get more
taxs
Correct your spelling
taxes
tax
.
that is
 why things of the past are always important
herritages
Correct your spelling
heritages
heritage
. if
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
 of the country
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
 will see that they feel more interested and mysterious(feel more interested and intrigued).
In addition
,
this
 area
of
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apply
show examples
including
randmark
Correct your spelling
landmark
 will be
a famous tour cities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a famous tour city
famous tour cities
show examples
 like Rome and Paris. because many
people
 come to cities
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 see the
randmark
Correct your spelling
landmark
brandmark
. Even if the government does not build
buildings
, naturally, company investment
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these areas and the cities will have many new
hausing
Correct your spelling
housing
 and new
roads
.
Also
, children for
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 history are very essential class. historic place in the book visit the real world that will be able to very effective education method. We should protect old
buildings
 even for our children. For the reason mentioned above, I totally disagree with
this
 opinion because when the government invests for rebuilt old
buildings
, it has a good
effect
gor
Correct your spelling
on
 education, government finance and
tour
Correct article usage
the tour
show examples
 industry more than investing
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 places.
Submitted by moneekun on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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