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Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #information #subjects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b #features #comparisons
The provided bar graph illustrates information about
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pupils of
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 A and
B
 who like subjects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the percentage scale.
Overall
,
school
 A's
students
 seem to be interested indoor classes.
However
,
students
 of
school
B
 tend to play
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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. In detail, the
students
 eight in ten of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
A
Add a missing verb
have A
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favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 sport .
On the other hand
, the remaining four subjects preference
of
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apply
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under 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Among them, drawing
class id
Correct your spelling
class'd
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specially
Replace the word
especially
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 dislike.
that is
 nearly nine in ten
studentes
Correct your spelling
students
 dislike
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
. And
favorite
Fix the agreement mistake
favorites
show examples
 of rate are Math and Science
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10
percent
 and about 20
percent
 respectively. When it comes to
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
B
 pattern.
School
B
's pupils five in ten are the best
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subject of
drawing
Add an article
the drawing
show examples
 . And they
also
 enjoy literature over 40
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
,
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the most disliked class is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science. That subject is
hate
Wrong verb form
hated
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for
Change preposition
by
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almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
students
 .But, pupils
fovor
Correct your spelling
favour
 Math about 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by moneekun on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, b, students, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • comparative data
  • favorite subjects
  • middle schools
  • horizontal axis
  • vertical axis
  • quantifies
  • preference
  • initial observation
  • significantly greater interest
  • shared enthusiasm
  • favored
  • attracts more students
  • draws the highest number
  • popularity
  • outliers
  • subject preferences
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