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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #information #subjects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b #features #comparisons
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The provided bar graph illustrates information about
among
Change preposition
apply
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pupils of
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 who like subjects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the percentage scale.
Overall
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 A's
students
Use synonyms
 seem to be interested indoor classes.
However
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 of
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 tend to play
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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. In detail, the
students
Use synonyms
 eight in ten of
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
A
Add a missing verb
have A
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favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 sport .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the remaining four subjects preference
of
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apply
show examples
under 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Among them, drawing
class id
Correct your spelling
class'd
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specially
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especially
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 dislike.
that is
Linking Words
 nearly nine in ten
studentes
Correct your spelling
students
 dislike
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
. And
favorite
Fix the agreement mistake
favorites
show examples
 of rate are Math and Science
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10
percent
Use synonyms
 and about 20
percent
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 respectively. When it comes to
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
B
Use synonyms
 pattern.
School
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
's pupils five in ten are the best
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subject of
drawing
Add an article
the drawing
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 . And they
also
Linking Words
 enjoy literature over 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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the most disliked class is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science. That subject is
hate
Wrong verb form
hated
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for
Change preposition
by
show examples
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 .But, pupils
fovor
Correct your spelling
favour
 Math about 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by moneekun on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, b, students, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • comparative data
  • favorite subjects
  • middle schools
  • horizontal axis
  • vertical axis
  • quantifies
  • preference
  • initial observation
  • significantly greater interest
  • shared enthusiasm
  • favored
  • attracts more students
  • draws the highest number
  • popularity
  • outliers
  • subject preferences
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